Once upon a time there was a girl
who felt concerned about the quantity of packaging
used to wrap most consumer goods.
She made an effort to reduce what she used,
recycling as much as possible. A lot of her family
and friends thought it was a waste of time
but she had a strong feeling that she was, in fact,
doing the right thing.
It did not make a big difference to the world and
she tried not to be too smug about her efforts and
there was very little evidence to prove she was doing anything at all.

Once upon a time there was a woman
who became famous for one reason or another.
It was mostly luck and soon it did not matter why
or if she'd ever had a talent,
though many people still insisted she was a positive
influence on the world.
Sometimes it bothered her that
even she could not recall the thing
which had brought her so much fame and money
and happiness.
She was in the news a lot,
sometimes for scandal and sometimes for everyday reasons.
Eventually the woman became very old and died
famous, rich and happy.

Once upon a time there was an artist
who sprayed his life onto walls.
This was a crime according to most
so he did it in secret, at night,
with whispering paint and so many layers
of clothes to keep out the cold.
At least five t-shirts and three jackets
and three pairs of trousers.
All covered in colours.
He ate food from supermarket bins
and lived under some plastic sheeting in the woods.
All of his many friends said
he was the happiest person they ever knew.
And he giggled at his life's success.

Once upon a time there was a hairy man.
He was so hairy.
He went to a place where they removed his hair
and he paid them all the money he'd saved,
a substantial sum. It took them some time
but they made him a suit from the hair
of his body. Thank you,
he said, and smiled as he walked home in it.
It cost him a lot of money
but his body was smooth and normal
and he had a nice suit
so he was pretty happy by most people's standards.

Once upon a time there was a farmer
who could not work computer programs.
He went on a night course
and realised after a few lessons that it was quite intuitive
and that trial and error could fix most of the problems
that came up.
He got more interested in computers
but still spent most of his time
outside in the rain trying to make a living.

Once upon a time there was a girl
who forgot to post a fairly important letter.
No one posts letters these days, she said,
how can I be expected to remember?
It stayed in her coat pocket for a week
until it was rumpled and she had to wonder
if the recipient would be disgusted
and if the post office would ever accept an item
in such poor condition. This terrible doubt
was too much to handle so
she put the letter under her bed
on the premise that everything else she had ignored
over the years either sorted itself out
or proved completely unimportant.

Once upon a time there was a Third World Country
that had to get a second job.
It didn't mind the apron or the miserable customers
too much. There were certain perks
and opportunities to meet cool people.
But it really could not stand the staff manager
who stomped around in a suit
though he had only worked there a few months longer
than anyone else. He ruined everyone's day.
The only comfort was that eventually
the staff manager would die
or find another job,
and that he probably didn't have a girlfriend.

Once upon a time there was a couple
who loved one-another and argued for that very reason.
Though the topics of their feuds were often
highly forgettable they behaved as if
every argument was the end of the world.
After several years of this
and numerous complaints from frightened neighbours
the couple decided to get married.
They stayed married for decades until one of them died
and then the one who remained went on a few dates
with different people, despite being quite old by this time.
Life was no better or worse though usually
it seemed easier to be terrified and alone
than to argue over trivial matters
and willingly make a loved one cry.

Once upon a time there was a hippie
who travelled from place to place.
He was not a natural born hippie
because his father had been a labourer
and the whole family grew up in a small council house.
It had been difficult to be a teenager with an interest
in alternative lifestyles, but then it is a difficult time anyway.
One night in a stone circle
in the magical forest there was a ceremony
and a folk band played
and this hippie became an official hippie.
None of his family attended
and when he visited them again they never mentioned it.
Things went on a lot like they had before
though he often wore a crown of brown leaves.
He was unsure if they could not see it
or if they just ignored it out of politeness and love.

Once upon a time there was a man
who talked to his horse in a way that sounded
like they were drunken old friends
trying to get home. There was a lot of pushing
and contradiction, though the horse never spoke.
Sometimes it would do as it was told
more out of coincidence
than obedience. Sometimes the man
would appear a bit harsh
but he did not use a whip or stick.
Stand still, he shouted,
and the horse kept walking.
So he said some insults until the horse did
what it was going to do anyway
then he gave it a carrot.

Once upon a time there were two rats
who came out at night when they would not be found
and killed. They avoided the poison
which had been put down for them.
They ate scraps and left droppings and trailed
potential disease around the place.
At the end of every night they went back
into hiding.
No one got ill, though no one would ever claim
that there was not a danger of sickness.
More poison was put around on the next night.
The rats ate it, but they crawled back
into hiding and when they died
the place smelled quite bad and no one ever found them.

Once upon a time there was a beard
which wanted to see the world.
It set off on an expensive cruise and drank cocktails
and sunbathed. Under the sun its soft
brown hairs became pale
and when it got back home many people
accused it of bleaching its hair
to be trendy. Although the beard pointed out
that such a thing had not been trendy
for quite a few years.